Does anyone else find it hard to say 'No?' This can be to co-workers, friends, or your children if you have them. I find myself saying no to our kids often. I don't think "no" is a terrible word; it sets boundaries and expectations. But it can also alienate during times of need. I find it harder to say no to my kids when I have been busy and unfocused on them. I think they call the allowance for whatever kids ask for in these moments "mom guilt."

What is your earliest memory? Mine dates back to when I was three years old…almost 40 years ago. So many people I know can’t remember their childhoods or even a ton of detail from the first half of their lives but I remember random things and big events from before I could speak well.

My mother has been praying for me and my friends for as long as I can remember. In the mornings on the way to school, she would pray for my day and if we saw a friend walking from the bus or train, we'd pick them up, and she would take their prayer request and pray for them in the car ride to school. As I prepared to get out of the car each morning, we had a call and response that started with her saying to me, "Walk with the King and be a blessing." And then I would reply, "Salt and light," which meant that I was committing to being salt to the earth and light to the world.

It's funny how on my most exhausted weeks I show up here with something. Today, I feel like I have nothing for you. I'm tired but not physically wrung out like when I run a half marathon, take the kids to a birthday party, grocery shop for the week, prep for the work week ahead, and then write this email on the same day. Today, I'm tired, but I think it's more mental than anything.

This week handed me some curveballs.

On Thursday afternoon, our building caught on fire. I believe the source was in the basement of the hardware store that rents two storefronts worth of space on the ground floor of our co-op. My neighbors shared later as we were trying to piece together a timeline of events that they felt some rumbling. Maybe it was an explosion, but by 2:08 PM, as I was walking from the Lenox Avenue store back to the apartment, I saw black smoke pouring out of the storefront windows. I immediately took a picture and sent it to the building WhatsApp group that I organized a couple of years ago and told everyone they should get out STAT.

On Saturday night, Nick and I started watching a new show on Apple TV called "Stick." It's about a washed-up, competitive golf pro finding his way into the next chapter of his life after a career-defining meltdown on national TV during his last golf competition. I'm not particularly excited by golf, so I thought the show would be lost on me, but Nick assured me that I would enjoy it and he wasn't wrong.

Sometimes you just have to start, even if you haven't figured everything out. Starting builds the muscle for the next time you attempt to do the thing you want to do but are afraid to accomplish.

As one of our Scoopers says, "I'm not going to hold you" with today's email. I'm super tired after an intense weekend. I went to a day of my K-12 school reunion in Washington, DC, on Friday. Then I got stranded that night after my 10 p.m. train—the last one for the evening—got delayed four hours. I needed to be back in the city by 6 a.m. to run my last 9+1 2026 marathon qualifying race, the Mastercard Mini 10K. By the time they announced the second train delay, I started trying to figure out my escape route. I ended up getting on a 12:35 a.m. bus that got me back to the city by 5:30 a.m. I got home by 6 a.m., took a shower, grabbed Ila (who was running in the kids' portion of the 10K), and dropped her off at her track teammate's house so I could pick up my bib and head to the start line.

The other day, I was chatting with one of my best friends about how people see us. She was saying she wanted to know how others viewed her, and I responded that I didn't really care about people's opinions of me. She snapped back, "It's so important to know how you're coming off to people." I shared that I feel like I have a really good grasp of how people see me. I'm either being read as a really intense and sometimes abrasive person, one of the happiest people you'll ever meet in an almost suspicious way, or some combination of both. There are other impressions as well. For example, I'm sure you all have thoughts about me based on the emails that I send. These might include seeing me as a fatigued mom of three who's building a business with her husband or a mom of three who's somehow able to accomplish a lot. When I told my friend that I didn't care, I meant that however others view me won't change my comfort with who I am.

Over the last month, it looks like I've lost 7-10 pounds, though I'm not really sure. The only time I stand on a scale is when I go to the doctor and they weigh me—we don't own one.

I've had four hours of sleep in the last two days. There has never been a moment when I was reminded of my age more than today as I tried to do the most on the least amount of sleep. I have a headache. I'm dehydrated. And, my right foot hurts from standing on my feet for 12 hours over the course of the last two days.

My Mother's Day tradition consists of asking everyone to leave the house until dinner time so that I can be alone.

This came to be during COVID because being alone and not badgered about snacks was such a commodity then. I've come to love this Mother's Day tradition for the freedom I have to spend the day rolling around in my sheets with a good book and breakfast. Sometimes I leave and get a massage and then take myself to lunch. If I don't leave, I order lunch from my phone and watch TV, which is strictly a late night activity for me.

My Mother's Day tradition is glorious.

Working with your spouse is no joke. My sister teased that I'm really bringing a new meaning to being married to my work. Over the last eight years, Nick and I have been building this company staying in our respective lanes; Nick's has been front of house management, inventory and store deliveries, recipe development, and working with our pastry team to produce the ice cream and other desserts. My work has focused on marketing, building our catering program, developing our community programs and working with our accountant, bookkeeper, legal team and other contractors to get us from one month to the next.

I ran the Maybelline Women's Half this morning and had some big thoughts about how underprepared I was for this race. My body broke down at mile seven during the last half marathon I ran earlier this year. I've fallen off on weekday runs with Ila and had to miss a race a few weeks ago because I was working the She Did That event. There was a part of me that was excited to tackle today's race. I felt grateful for the opportunity to run but was also a little afraid of what waited ahead. Today was easier than the last half, in part due to the weather, the fact that I had a better nutrition plan during the race thanks to a mom friend who hooked me up with Clif Bloks right before the race started, and the fact that my body has some muscle memory from the race in February.

We started our day at the Apollo, where we attended Easter service. Founded 10 years ago by a husband and wife team, our church began in a Harlem apartment before moving to a school building across the street. We have worshipped in that same building for the last decade. We've grown so much over the years that we've had to add a third service. You can imagine that last year's Easter service, often the busiest Sunday for many churches, saw even larger crowds. This was the reason behind this year's services being held in the 1,500-seat Apollo Theater.

I've always struggled to balance routine and whimsy. When I was a first-time mom, I learned the importance of routine. Creating a predictable schedule for my firstborn baby was the best way for me to build trust with her while giving me a break from my new forever job. Knowing that I would have my own time to veg and decompress from the day around 8pm was a gift. Once Zadie was born, we had competing schedules to maintain, and there went all the healthy routines I had created for us.

I've been standing on my feet all day. I didn't get enough sleep last night because I squeezed in one too many episodes of Apple TV programming—we're currently watching "Dope Thief" and "The Studio." And I had to wake up at 7am this morning because I was due in Brooklyn at 10:30am to load-in for the "She Did That x MadamNoire: Queens of the Food & Beverage Scene" event.

Yesterday, I spent the majority of the day at Zadie's first wrestling competition. I'd share photos, but I was explicitly asked by my child not to, so I'm, of course, honoring that. Imagine her in pigtails (not my wisest hairstyle for the occasion) wearing a green, black, and white singlet with the word "Harlem" stretched across it. Cuuute!

The kids flew by themselves to California this past Monday for spring break at my sister's place. My sister has been taking such good care of them; they will almost definitely come home disappointed that the quality of life she provided them will not extend into their day-to-day lives in this house.

I spent the majority of Sunday getting the kids ready for their spring break vacation. They are visiting my sister for a little over a week and will be traveling by plane alone for the first time!