Full

You know that feeling when you’ve had too much to eat and you kind of want to keel over to give your bursting stomach some relief from sitting upright, or you just want to lie down because all the food you’ve eaten made you tired? But you’re also really satiated?

Picture of us at my section of The Longest Table taken one of my church friends who lives close by to where this all happened

That’s how I feel about all of the activities from this weekend. As Friday was ending, I was bracing for the weekend. Aren’t we supposed to be excited for the weekend? I knew mine was going to be a marathon.

I posted about Saturday’s activities in my IG Stories earlier today. The day included a track meet in the Heights, a soccer match in Brooklyn, scarecrow making in Harlem, a sleepover in the Bronx, and Chef JJ’s food-focused party, ‘The Cookout’ in Midtown. Today, I volunteered at church, volunteered as a table host at The Longest Table lunch on 118th Street and Frederick Douglass Blvd, and ended the day at my nine-year-old niece’s Karaoke birthday party where you know I sang some songs.

I am full.

Images (Left to Right, Top to Bottom): The leaders of Marcus Meets Malcolm who run the blocked off play street on 120th & Lenox Ave by the Sugar Hill Creamery on store on Lenox Ave; Nick and I with Aliyyah Baylor of Harlem baking institution Make My Cake; Anthony, Founder of EatOkra; @domnthecity; @cheatdayking and his wife; Coco of Little Fat Girl

I am full from all the people I met and engaged with this weekend. Conversations with new and old colleagues, neighbors, and friends fed me in the best ways. But my body is also full in a maxed-out sort of way. I’m ready to lie down and watch a show.

I’d love to share a lesson I learned from this weekend’s activities but I don’t have one. All I can share is that I am constantly negotiating how to use my time, how to say no to things, but also how to live life to the fullest without expending all of my energy to the point of physical exhaustion.

I know that I was born an entrepreneur even if it took me 35 years to realize it. Entrepreneurs are often restless and always ready to dig in, build, problem solve, and ideate. As a group, we’re also often on the move. Saying no to myself and all of the things I want to do and experience—along with the things my kids want to do—will likely always be hard because I’m so used to running from one thing to the next. But today I realized that I’m going to have to figure out how to protect my time and energy as we grow this company, even when I want to do all of the things being asked of me. The hard part isn’t saying no to things I don’t want to do. It’s saying no to things I do want to do.

This may just be the hidden cost of ambition.

With you,

Petrushka

Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach