Last week at our Inaugural SHMOM Gathering, I was chatting with one of the SHMOM alumna and her husband about how I’m Type B+. I coined this personality type for myself 10 or 15 years ago when I had had enough experience in professional settings to know that I was never going to be the person that was so anxious about my grades or my peers’ perception of me that I would stop at nothing to make sure I appeared perfect.

Yesterday, we hosted our Inaugural SHMOM Gathering. It was such a beautiful gathering of moms from the start of our group in 2018 to present. It felt like the most beautiful way to kick off today––in community with mothers who understand that thriving as a mother is not done alone.

This past weekend, I traveled to Rhode Island to see one of my nephews perform with his Taiko drumming ensemble. My sister flew in from California and we took a train to Providence to see him on Friday night.

This past weekend, I traveled to DC for the Black Women in Food conference. I was able to connect with folks working in food, writing about food, and those championing women who’ve committed their lives to food. It was such a generative and rejuvenating experience.

I just attended the Cherry Bombe Jubilee conference yesterday and met some lovely, lovely women in food. On the train to and from the midtown venue, I read The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make. My neighbor recently gave it to me in her seasonal purge of items. She is preparing to be an empty nester. Her youngest child was just admitted to Brown University and she was preparing for her departure by ridding herself of any child and parenting items that helped make her daughter’s collegiate acceptance a reality.

Nick and I just came back from a vow renewal ceremony in Kansas City. It was beautiful. But, as is customary after attending weddings, I am in no condition to “life.” We dragged ourselves home today from the airport and I’ve been watching early episodes of Grey’s Anatomy as I convalesce in preparation for Monday.

Moms from previous cohorts always seemed eager to hear my thoughts on raising kids because of my 10+ years in the game. But, I try not to adulterate their experience with my own because our paths will inevitably be different. Most importantly, I am only an 11 year old mom. Like a tween, there’s so much more for me to learn.

In short, we both shared more freely than we would have had we stuck to the usual line of questions that one does when chitchatting with strangers. I know that if and when we see each other again, we’ll pick up where we left off and connect more deeply as a result.

This is how we form genuine relationships with people.

We ask questions that are steeped in true curiosity for the other person.

I was grateful to have the opportunity to turn the obstacle of not having a well-thought out spring break childcare plan into a delicious popsicle that we will remember for years to come.

You know what I’ve observed about the mothers who have enrolled in the Sugar Hill New Mom’s Group over the last six years?

They have by and large been achievers.

And you know what I know about us achievers? We like to be in control of our outcomes.

But, here’s the thing I’ve learned along my parenting journey—-the only thing I’m in control of is my response. That’s it.

A month ago, my mother called me frantically to share that she believed she had been scammed out of $15,000. I asked all the clarifying questions that a daughter turned parent turned emerging out-of-state caretaker asks to confirm if the suspicions were real. They were. She really got scammed and the bank wasn’t going to give it back.

If it weren’t for my children, I might still be eating cereal for dinner.

I was on a panel at the food media company Infatuation this week and the moderator asked panelists, each of us a food entrepreneur, how we were carrying family food traditions into the dishes we serve our customers.

When your job is getting the best of you, it’s taking a toll on your quality of life, and you’re still locked in because the money is good and the end of year bonuses are better, it may be time to start planning your exit strategy.

After having a conversation with my sister last summer about establishing a cadence for collective conversation in our immediate family, she suggested we start having a weekly family meeting.

I was going to share my recent thoughts about generational trauma and generational abundance, but I decided to keep it light because it’s Super Bowl Sunday. I’ll be lucky if you even open this email.

So instead of talking about how our actions and behaviors, for better or worse, impact our kids, their kids, and their kids, I’m sharing a selection of recipes for food we’ve made in the last few weeks! 😂😂😂

Earlier this week, I sent an email about one of the best decisions I’ve made recently…I hired an executive assistant. We’ve been working together for three months and I’m not sure what took me so long to make this decision. Actually, I do.

We hosted a clothing swap for moms who participated in the Sugar Hill New Mom’s Group that I started six years ago. Towards the end of the event, I was chatting with some of the moms and I said for a while my life felt like it was being run like an under-resourced non-profit; I was serving as the CEO, COO, snack maker, meal prepper, mom, wife, and more. Then I said, “Well until like six months ago.”

When I first became a mother 11 years ago, I remember embarking on this new job with the desire to be perfect–a perfect provider of love, care, and provision. Without truly understanding or appreciating the gig of parenting, I had high expectations for myself in this unfamiliar role.

It’s a miracle this email is landing in your inbox. I’m fresh off a double header weekend wherein I hosted a 6 year old birthday for 25 kids and their adults shortly after hosting our SHMOM Clothes & Toy Swap. Both sets of grandparents were in town and my recently decluttered apartment looks like it did pre-decluttering. But, I’m here! And, I come bearing a very short story about the power of our actions on our children.

Last June, I booked a childless trip for Nick and I to travel to Mexico…without a clear plan for who would be watching our kids. If you read last week’s email, you know that I am an advocate for deciding to decide. Let me offer some context as to what pushed me to move forward with this trip without having all the logistical details in place.