Tight Rope

Working with your spouse is no joke. My sister teased that I'm really bringing a new meaning to being married to my work. Over the last eight years, Nick and I have been building this company staying in our respective lanes; Nick's has been front of house management, inventory and store deliveries, recipe development, and working with our pastry team to produce the ice cream and other desserts. My work has focused on marketing, building our catering program, developing our community programs and working with our accountant, bookkeeper, legal team and other contractors to get us from one month to the next.

Me with our first Public Programs Coordinator yesterday on her last day after almost two years of working with us

But Nick has been saying for some time that he does not want to be in a management position. He just wants to make ice cream and fix things. This is something that neither he nor I knew he would feel when we started this journey in 2016.

We both brought to the company our past professional experiences and mine has never been in front of house restaurant management. His background is working service as a server, maître d', service director, and ultimately a general manager at some of New York City's finest restaurants. His resume got him the role of being our general manager. But, as we have grown, he has become more and more unhappy in this role.

We have been talking for the last year about how to transition him out. The idea of managing the largest part of our workforce who are still learning about who they are and how to be in the world has felt overwhelming for me. Also, taking on this leadership role in our company, that we own together, has given me some pause as Nick and I navigate the power dynamics that can happen in many partnerships. I have been a leader in my area of responsibility allowing him to be a leader in his. Only, he doesn't want to lead anymore.

When I think back to my pre-ice cream life, I was doing a lot of people management but in different settings. At the Laundromat Project, I, among other things, ideated and launched the artist fellowship program that the organization has grown and built upon over the last 15 years. As VP of Programs & Education at Brooklyn Children's Museum, I had a team of 33 full-time and part-time employees, some of whom were unionized, which meant that they were managed differently than the non-union members. It was a lot, but we did some good work as a department. We turned our after school program around after it had received so many dings from the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene due to out-of-date paperwork. We brought contemporary artists and a “maker culture” into the museum for exhibition making and programs, and boosted staff morale through engaging staff meetings and other cultivation events.

The Museum is 125 years old and my company is just approaching eight, so I'm pretty optimistic about how I will transition into this role. If the last two years of working with one of my former CUNY students turned Public Programs Coordinator whose last day was yesterday is an indicator, I am looking forward to supporting our largest workforce, our scoopers, with the same mentorship she wrote about in her farewell card. I literally miss her already.

Nick taking his first break of the day after working six and a half hours without a break in the line at our StuyTown location, a seasonal ice cream truck that we operate during the spring and summer

There have been a couple of things that have helped make this transition possible. The first is that our children are getting older and while they still physically require a lot of me, they don't require as much as they did when we first started this journey (i.e., they all know how to wipe themselves, feed themselves, and tie their shoes). We've also made a couple of hires over the last year that have helped take some things off our plates – one is my executive assistant that I'm sure you've met by email if ever you've needed or wanted to meet with me (there are currently 45+ unread messages on text and WhatsApp messages on my phone) and the other is bringing on our Operations Manager who was hired to help Nick with the day-to-day tasks that weigh him down.

Now in my new role as our scooping team's supervisor I am at once nervous and excited to see what we do together with me as their leader. I'm looking forward to growing them into leaders who can take some of what I have now inherited from Nick off my plate while bringing their exciting ideas to the table.

Nick sweeping out the truck after our first day in StuyTown

Today, Nick and I restocked the stores together from morning to early afternoon because of the Five Borough Bike Tour. It was a great opportunity to see what ideas I will bring to our operations to streamline how we do business but it was also sobering to see what he has been doing each day to keep our stores running.

Here's to a new era for us both.

Petrushka

Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach

P.S. If you a SHMOM, make sure to RSVP to our annual gathering next Saturday, 5/10 in Morningside Park (123rd St entrance) from 11am - 1pm. Kat and I have booked a photographer to take pictures of you with your kids in celebration of Mother’s Day! Also, there’s a new SHMOM Alumni WhatsApp Group! Join it here.