Expectations
My Mother's Day tradition consists of asking everyone to leave the house until dinner time so that I can be alone.
This came to be during COVID because being alone and not badgered about snacks was such a commodity then. I've come to love this Mother's Day tradition for the freedom I have to spend the day rolling around in my sheets with a good book and breakfast. Sometimes I leave and get a massage and then take myself to lunch. If I don't leave, I order lunch from my phone and watch TV, which is strictly a late night activity for me.
My Mother's Day tradition is glorious.
My mom and me across the street from the scaffolding-clad Lenox store on our way to get Mother’s Day massages
But, this year, I'm sharing Mother's Day with my mother. I brought her up from Maryland on Wednesday so she could see Ila perform in her school play. We decided that she'd stay here until Mother's Day so we could spend it together.
Having her here means I won't be able to celebrate the way I normally do. She wants to go to church for the 10am service and grab a bite to eat outside after…with the children. By 12pm, my Mother's Day will be turned on its head. Of course, I'm conceding because as I shared with someone at our Second Annual SHMOM Gathering yesterday, I'm not sure how many more Mother's Days we'll have together. She could live another 30 years or some fluke accident or diagnosis could take one of us sooner than we expect.
Right now, my husband is dropping things off at the stores since the person who does delivery doesn't usually come on Sunday. My two eldest children are watching TV and have not greeted me with any special acknowledgement about the day. My youngest child is still asleep and my mother, who I have not formally greeted with a warm Happy Mother's Day tiding, met with her intercessory prayer group at 7am and proceeded to fry more pork bacon on my stove at around 8:30am. Pork bacon is my house's potpourri scent when she's visiting. We are a turkey bacon house.
Group photo from yesterday’s SHMOM gathering.
I've sent dozens of Happy Mother's Day texts to my group chats and individual friends. I've posted about our Café Touba ice cream on TikTok, checked some email, and poked around on the backend of our point of sale system for the store. Yesterday, I took my mom and me for massages at LongTen because services are her love language and I suck at getting cards with meaningful prose that arrive in people's mailboxes at or before a holiday. I currently feel zombie-ish because I fell asleep on the couch last night trying to get just a little bit more me-time after working at our Lenox store the last two hours of last night's shift and I need to start getting ready for church.
Mother's Day comes with such a loaded set of expectations and emotions. For the mothers-to-be, it may be a day full of hope, frustration, or anger. And, for mothers, it may be a day full of gratitude, frustration, or anger. Whether you're hoping to become a mother, experiencing hardship in getting pregnant, or at once grateful and annoyed by the family you've created, I hope there's at least one moment today that feels intentional and full of care.
Moms from our February/March 2023 SHMOM cohort
I'm not sure if this was the Mother's Day my mom really wanted. It's in some ways not the Mother's Day I look forward to every year. But, just like every holiday, it's just another day and I am choosing to focus on the gratitude I have for who and what is in my care.
No matter if you are a mother or not, I hope you enjoy a scoop of ice cream today! It's a gorgeous day in the city.
Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach