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I kicked off Mother’s Day weekend with our annual Sugar Hill New Mother’s Group (SHMOM)Mother’s Day Gathering. This has become an annual tradition since Kathleen, a 2021 alumna of the program and our current SHMOM facilitator, began working with me three years ago to support the group. Generally, moms who have participated in the last two to three years come because often the only activity their kids have to navigate is naptime.
Image: Group picture of our 2026 SHMOM Annual Gathering
Every year, people ask if my kids will be there and every year they are in three different places because they are now 13, 10, and 8. Saturday morning was no different. One child took herself to her track team’s practice facility to finish setting up the Mother’s Day luncheon that they were organizing for track moms. Nick took another child to her last dance class where there was an open house to share all the dance techniques they learned over the semester and the last child was taken to a classmate’s birthday party with one of my best friends whose daughter was also attending. Our family was in four different places and all four Sugar Hill Creamery stores were open with only two parents who are also currently the store’s only two supervisors to support. Our life is a testament to how none of it is possible without the support of others.
Throughout my morning conversations with the moms in attendance and at the track mom luncheon, I reflected on this very thing–this journey is not possible without the village. If you’ve been reading my weekly emails for a while, you know I say this all the time. Nick and my mother are not geographically close to us so making this family-of-five life work requires the collaboration of fr-amily (friends who are like family), neighbors and friends.
SHMOM Alumni and Facilitator Kathleen and I at the end of Gathering
One mom shared yesterday that she was overwhelmed with her nine-month-old and two-and-half-year-old. She said she and her husband were surviving, which is a completely normal feeling when parenting in general. But, parenting without the support of others is an especially heavy weight that can make you feel like you’re drowning at sea. I asked if she had asked anyone for help. She shared that friends had offered but she felt bad about accepting it.
Then, I shared a lesson I learned from my mother later in life—refusing help from someone who is offering it blocks their blessing. Think about it like this, you’re drowning at sea and someone happens to throw you and your family life savers and you reject them because you feel bad. After all, you brought these children to the ocean in the first place, so it’s your sole responsibility to keep them alive. How would that person feel after sailing away? Probably guilty and as though they could have done more to help you. We are often so worried about being an inconvenience that we don’t consider that when someone extends a hand, they are doing so because they see a need and have a desire to help — and by not receiving it, we are also restricting the flow of good energy heading their way.
Images: Images from the Track Mom luncheon, which required a dress change because the color theme was pink.
And then when our kids are in the hands of other adults (that we trust), a beautiful thing happens; they experience other adults’ boundaries. I think this creates well-rounded children, children that know how to listen and have understanding of the world beyond their immediate families. This is what being raised in community is all about.
As a child of a single mother, I spent a decent amount of time in neighbors’, classmates’, and aunties’ homes. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, I learned A LOT about how other people live and operate. Though I parent with Nick, I have extended this approach to our own home because if our Saturday morning activities were a testament, we are outnumbered in every way. We have also never had a dedicated, longstanding childcare provider to support our family’s needs over the last 13 years. The result so far has been that our children push boundaries at home but when they are in the hands of other adults whether at school or with friends’ families, they are good natured, collaborative, and kind.
Image: Nico playing with one of his classmates at the birthday party
Naturally, all kids are built differently and we all do not have the same childhood experiences that may allow us to feel comfortable with our kids being in other people’s care. But I share all this to say that as I reflect on my mothering journey, I am acutely aware that it is impossible to mother with a shred of sanity alone. I know I can’t control every environment my children will be in and I can’t control them. I can only set boundaries for them to exist and part of that is opening my own figurative compound gates to let other people in to help.
To my SHMOMS and all the mothers reading this, I hope you felt seen today by your family, friends, and the people in your village. And, if you’re not a mother but have mothers in your life, I hope you let them know how important they are.
Our next SHMOM group begins June 25th and I’ll be facilitating since Kathleen will be on maternity leave — and our September session for all the summer babies is live, too! Let an expectant mother know so that she can start her journey in the community of others experiencing motherhood for the first time, too.
With love,
Petrushka
Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach