Your circle is shaping you whether you realize it or not. If that hits, tap ❤️ — and share this with someone who needs to hear it. 🙏🏾

Earlier this week, at her own request, Ila and I ran two and a half miles to her doctor’s appointment. As she ran at least two minutes faster than me, I noticed two boys who looked like they were 10 or 11 years old standing on a curb off Central Park West. One boy had his iPhone in one hand while his other waved half-heartedly. He was trying to catch a cab. His conviction was not there. He had clearly never been late for work or late to pick up a child from school. He and his friend looked frustrated because cabs were not stopping for them. As I approached them, I thought to tell them to go across the street to the doorman building and have the doorman hail them a cab. The odds of them actually getting one would be better. I didn’t end up stopping because I had to catch my own kid, but I thought about what would have happened if I had. Maybe their parents had already shared a similar tip but maybe they ignored it because what do parents know? What would have happened if a stranger had shared it instead? Maybe they would have received the message and learned something new. When I was their age, I would have probably been receptive to a stranger’s similar guidance.

Image: Me with Chef Charles of Harlem’s iconic Charles Pan Fried Chicken outside of the Sugar Hill Creamery on Lenox Ave later in the morning after my run with Ila. We’re cooking up something delicious!

When I was in middle school, there were about 40 or 50 people in each grade. I had a group of 10 or so friends that I hung out with in and out of school. My mom approved of most of these friends, but there were a few that she did not. And in response, she “prayed them away.”

Praying someone away was my mother’s approach to removing someone from my life that she did not feel had a great influence on me. From this, I learned at a young age the power of influence. I didn’t see what she saw in these friends but her candid, verbal prayers told me that the people you surround yourself with had the potential to sway you.

Images: Blurry pictures of Ila early in our run. I was already behind. 😂

While my mother was praying some of my friends out of my life, she was also whispering to my eldest sister messages that she wanted me to heed. My sister is nine years my senior and has always been a person of influence in my life. Up until I got married a couple years shy of my 30th birthday, my mother relied on her to deliver messages to me that she knew I wouldn’t receive from her but may pay attention to if they came from my sister.

Image: Me with my fellow airport Joint Venture Partners at the 25th Anniversary of JFK Terminal 4 on the evening of my morning run with Ila

Now that I’m a parent, I understand influence so much better. Parents can’t always be the messengers. Children need aunties, uncles, coaches, close family friends, teachers, siblings, and even well-meaning strangers to intercede and influence. And, adults are no different. We are influenced by our friend groups and professional networks, and in turn are a representation of the company we keep.

As I think about how I want to live in this world and what I want to experience, I think about who I’m surrounded by and how their mindsets support my own dreams. I also think about how open I am to messages from my friends, family, and even strangers. Being influenced is a passive act, but it’s also intentional when you realize the power of people in your life.

Image (L-R): Malika Michaud (co-owner of the new coffee shop Same Time Tomorrow on Lenox and 117th; me; THE Bevy Smith (TV personality and lifelong Harlemite); and my dear neighbor Timnit. Timnit invited me to check out the soft opening of Same Time Tomorrow last Friday and it was such a vibe. If you live in the neighborhood or are ever walking up Lenox from the 2/3 train, check them out once they open. Their matcha banana bread is delicious!

Who’s the biggest influence on your life right now? If the beginning of this email is any indicator, one of my current influences is my 13-year-old athlete child who inspires me with her discipline and focus. I finally caught up to her and when I did, I realized I would not have gone on that run without her suggestion and I’ve been running and exercising almost every day since.

Petrushka

Your Local Ice Cream Lady & Life/Business Coach