We have an agreement that each child spends a week by themselves with my mom and her husband. It’s a much anticipated event in this house and I am the horse and buggy that helps realize these summer dreams.

Today, as we celebrate the father’s in our lives, consider asking them (today or later) what activities would make their list. If you are partnered, consider making this an activity you do together and post both of your lists visibly in your home.

So often, we parents run to the aid of our children when they experience some form of discomfort or disappointment. But, who can blame us? Our role among other responsibilities is to provide and protect.

As summer approaches and the odd gaps of time where our kids will not be in camp come face-to-face with my work calendar, I have been thinking alot about how I can be present for them without neglecting my goals.

Last night, I was able to hang out with friends new and old in Brooklyn Bridge Park like a more responsible 20-something, pre-child version of myself. Our kids were hanging at their friend’s house, and Nick got an evening of Shake Shack and uninterrupted TV time.

At the beginning of last year, in the middle of the pandemic, my goal was for us to reach seven figures in revenue at Sugar Hill Creamery. I am proud to say that we reached our goal and not by a dollar. As a result of this revenue, we have been able to employ almost 30 people in part-time and full-time positions year-around while supporting organizations like Harlem Little League with team sponsorship.

Three or four months after I decided to leave my job for full-time ice cream life, I had way more time to spend with the kids. Ila, our eldest, was the only one in full-time school at the time. I was volunteering at her school a lot. I was spending more time with the other parents who sent their kids to the same school. And, I think I just had more time to pay attention to the development of each of our kids.

This week, I thought I was going to share more about how I spent Thursday in Ila’s court hearing advocating for her to receive a fair and appropriate education. It has taken three years to get to this point of advocacy, so the hearing was a big milestone. But, I’ll save that story for later because my plan is to convalesce all day. I have a date with my bed, some books, some snacks, some beverage, and possibly some Netflix or HBOMax.

I attended a two-day workshop a couple of months ago to get me started. Following the workshop, I began meditating consistently for two weeks. Then, my practice took a hit because I lost interest. My mistake was in the fact that I listened to the same recording during each session and my attention waned.

The Parent Development Meeting is kind of like our New Mom’s Group but for parents of kids of all ages. We sit in a circle with the head of school and talk about the things that are on our hearts regarding our children. From screen time and cellphone usage to eating habits to building confidence in preteen girls, no topic is off limits.

Many of us think that by providing the best, we are showing the child love–by dressing them well, they are loved; by making sure they have the best birthday party, they are loved; by making their food from scratch, they are loved. While these actions can communicate our affinities for our children, the best way we can show them love is by being mentally and emotionally present for them.

I believe that we parent from a place of memory, from childhood record keeping. Sometimes we are aware of these records as we actively parent our kids and sometimes we parent on autopilot pulling from how our parents raised us.

With the newest New Mom’s Group alumna and others who have subscribed to this list via Instagram newly added to this group, I thought this would be a great moment to reintroduce myself, especially since this was my first time not facilitating New Mom’s Group.

“Doing the best you can” in relation to my capacity has always felt like an insult. In those words, I heard, “You could be doing better but you just can’t, so the shoddy job you’re doing now will just have to do.” I explained this to my friend who seemed a little taken aback by my response to her consoling words. She countered my response with an affirmation that we were (and still are) living in trying times and if there were a moment not to turn in A+ work, this was the time.

Last week I wrote about relationships with people being one of our most valuable assets. When people talk about assets, they are usually making reference to monetary assets. Our net worth is tabulated in dollars. But, how would this number look if we included relationships with people as well as how we spend our time to the formula? I believe we have an asset trinity and people, time, and money complete the triangle.

I hope this finds everyone well. I can’t remember if I’ve shared that last year I stepped down from my Treasurer role on our co-op board and the board for Harlem4Kids to refocus my time and energy for 2022. I’m a “joiner” to my core so it’s hard for me to say no to activities that support my respective communities. This week, our eldest daughter Ila and I focused our energies on raising money for her school through the sale of Popcorn. Yes, popcorn.

This week’s email is brought to you by two current TV obsessions — the newest season of My Brilliant Friend on HBO-Max and Kanye West’s documentary Jeen-Yuhs, which is currently trending on Netflix.

Art has been a part of my life since the end of high school. I went to NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts for Photography and Imaging and then a couple of years after graduating, made my way west to attend California College of the Arts (CCA) to receive my MA in Curatorial Practice. I sublet my studio apartment in Sugar Hill to a friend while I was gone.

Last week I wrote a bit about my mom. This week I'm sharing more reflections about how she raised me. As parents, we often parent from the emotional place that our parents parented us. For better or worse, the decisions we are making for our little ones are often informed by what our parents did or didn’t do for us when we were younger.

The conversations we are having with ourselves are the silent words that roam inside of us after something terrible or amazing has happened. When we make a mistake or maybe a bad decision, the conversation we are having with our self is either telling us how stupid we are for making the mistake or it is giving us grace and encouraging us to try again because we all make them.